Tuesday, May 27, 2008

But Wait! I Can Explain...

How I spent my three day weekend:

  1. Surprising my girlfriend's husband by showing up at their front door in my night clothes while his wife was away. (Leslie, you knew my scheduling goof would end up as blog fodder, didn't you?)

  2. Donning the daughter version of our matching mother/daughter dresses to head over to my parents for the big clan hoopla.

  3. Having tremendous fun teasing my mother about wearing our matching dresses to Early Bird Specials and on Grey Line bus tours.

  4. Worrying myself silly about middle sister when Mom said she'd been smoking a wild pig brother in law brought home. "Does she know it takes at least two days of smoking before those things are safe to eat?"

  5. Catching my mother's eye then laughing like a loon when my middle sister said she felt fine now but she'd been puking all day and "must have a stomach bug".

  6. Making my younger sister scream by threatening to lick her nose.

  7. Gobbling down steaks grilled to the consistency of shoe leather by the menfolk who are in their grilling glory.

  8. Giggling with relief upon discovering the very silly reason why brother-in-law stormed out in a rage. "Ha! More steak for us!"

  9. Leading the entire family in a game of "Name the alternate insult he could have heard" to the hilarity of all.

  10. Herding toddlers like a rodeo queen and telling younger sister "Having three boys in diapers isn't so tough" in my most superior voice, then saying a prayer of thanks back at home that they aren't mine.

  11. Collapsing in my newly re-arranged living room, glancing at the cat up on my good console table and telling him he's lucky he gets a pass tonight because I'm too pooped to care.

  12. Then wondering if everybody has as manic and evil a family as I do, because really? They are just too much fun.