Friday, April 18, 2008

Nemesis

Mrs. Fussypants brought to my attention that I need a nemesis. After almost a week of pondering, I ran down my list of sworn enemies including the school drop off line divas I finally made peace with, "Fats" the evil genius squirrel who remains thwarted by bicycle chains and Vaseline (I'll just let you ponder that one) and the most gleefully cruel civil servant encountered since the days of the Spanish Inquisition. Huh. I'd have to say that all of them are either vanquished or at an armed neutrality.

In truth, the only fly in my ointment is myself. We are at odds these days due to my desire for an orderly pleasant existence and my general tendencies toward lazy slovenliness with a side order of Big Mouth. Last night was the perfect example.

After coming home from the office and having a very filling dinner of my new barbecue pot roast concoction (the kids actually licked the bottom of the slow cooker), Spouse and I retired to our room to settle in for the evening. In the middle of changing out of my work clothes, something on the computer caught my eye. I plonked my nekkid bum down in front of it and immediately became engrossed in reading my bloggy peeps when the doorbell rang.

My first thought was "Ugh! Salesman!" What I actually said was an extremely foul word rhyming with "duck" and "Who the hell is that?". Spouse grabbed trou and hurried to the door. It was our sweet next door neighbor, the widow lady who is secretary at the church up the road and our neighborhood's local news source. She had a large piece of furniture to move and was hoping Spouse and Bear would be able to give her a hand with it.

I know this because I heard her tiny little voice very clearly through the open window. That's right, I'd forgotten all about the open window with a clear view of all my Jabba the Hutt butted wonder when I sat down in front of it and loudly cursed one of the nicest ladies on our street.

Is it possible to take out a restraining order against oneself? Because people? I'm really starting to annoy me.