Tuesday, February 12, 2008

...And No Potty Break

Last night was the football banquet for Bear's High School. The banquet was four hours long.

We set Bunny up with a portable DVD player so she could watch Disney while the speakers were speachifying. It worked out well. The banquet was four hours long.

The food was donated by one of the dads who owns a high end restaurant. It was terrible. Apparently the chef was unaware of what happens to fresh food when it is transported in steamers and kept in chafing dishes. Everything looked and tasted like mush. The banquet was four hours long.

The awards were a repetitive drawn out affair. Most of the trophys were named for people who haven't been around since I was a student there. I kept a running commentary going for spouse: "This award is named for the boy's vice principal who drilled holes into the paddle he used to give the boys licks. He said it cut down on wind resistance and made a great whistling sound.", " This one is for the administrative vice principal who told the 'bad touch' science teacher he'd kick his ass to China if he ever stepped foot on school property again", etc. The banquet was four hours long.

At the end of the evening (now dead of night) after the awards and before the season highlights video and the final benediction, the head coach told a story about a conversation he'd had with his son who is the head coach over at our crosstown rival school.
"Jr. said they'd been able to whip through their football banquet in about two hours. He asked me about how long our banquet would be. I told him I figured it'd take us about four hours, because we have a lot more athletes on our team."
I rather liked that.

Now I get to wait for the plumber. Three of our bathroom spiggots sprang simultaneous leaks. How long after our appointment time do you think my wait for the plumber will be? I'm guessing four hours long.