Wednesday, December 05, 2007

The (Not So) Ugly (But Slightly Stupid) American

Hotfessional tagged me a few weeks back for the Meme of 24. Since I was getting a little meme crazy I decided to save it for now. Because I can't just tell you yes or no without explaining why each question reminds me that I am an insufferable twit, I present you now with the first installment of The Meme of 24:

(X) Been to Canada:

Did you know that in New Orleans a beignet is a delicious specialty treat? Did you know that in Quebec Province "beignet" just means donut?

The English translation of me ordering a half dozen beignets in French:

"I'd like six donuts, please."

"Yes, what kind?"


"Yes, what kind of doughnuts?"

"Six doughnuts, please"

"Yes, six doughnuts. What kind of doughnuts?"


(X) Been to Mexico:
Spouse and I had completed the endless bus trip to Chichen Itza. We were the last people on the bus after they had dropped off 40 people at 32 different resorts and dropped off a couple of tour guides at their homes. We were cranky and exhausted. The driver spoke no English, but that was OK since I speak Spanish. Um hm. Like I speak French. Ha!

I gave the driver directions to the resort while Spouse began to sweat. Sure enough, despite it being pitch black out, the driver took the correct turn into the driveway to the resort. Did I mention that we had been on the bus for HOURS? I could not wait to get off. I told the driver that we'd just walk the rest of the way. Here is the English translation of the conversation that followed:

"Driver, this is the right place. You can drop us off here."

"No Madam, I will take you to the door. There are crocodiles here."

"Driver, we don't mind the mud. We'd prefer to walk."

No Madam, you can not walk here. There are crocodiles on the road."

"That's OK, Driver. We'll stay on the road. We really don't mind walking."

"Lady, This. Is. A. Crocodile. Preserve. Big teeth, Snap Snap! You are staying on the bus!" (Just then as if for emphasis a 10 foot snake slithered across the road in front of us.)

"Oh. Thank you."

Just call me TX Poppet: Linguist Extraordinaire! I'll be waiting for the UN to call.