Sunday, November 25, 2007

No More Coffee For You, Madam

By my reckoning I have 57 minutes left to get today's item posted. Ya don't get profound on a tight deadline (but you might get something profane). Barring any profanity, all I have to say today is "whipped topping" and "processed cheese food" are just weird. Beware these items.

Oh! and anyone who tries to tell you that carob chips are a wonderful substitute for chocolate is a liar.

Everybody who jumped the gun and has all their Christmas shopping-decorating-baking-crafting-etc. done is a dirty cheater. I know you're just trying to make the rest of us look bad.

The more people remind me to remember the less fortunate, the more I want to ignore them, so stop nagging me before I run around in front of the Salvation Army headquarters ringing a bell and shouting "Bah Humbug!"

Also? Coffee at 11:00 p.m. does not make me a cheerful little sunbeam like it does at 7:00 am. That is all.

Today I give thanks for another week before Advent begins and I need to start preparing for Christmas, because really? I'm just not in the mood.