Tuesday, September 18, 2007

Man's Work

I've been waffling back and forth about writing yet another wise-acre post about my wonderful Spouse. After careful consideration, I've decided that what he said Saturday deserves it. So here in all its' glory is the highly edited Conversation:

Me: Darling, the carpet really is disgusting. Will you pull the carpet up like we spoke about or shall I call in the cleaning and repair guys?

He: Sweetheart, I need you take a look at the carpet tacks before I pull anything up. I want you to see this for yourself.

Me: Snookums, what do I know about carpet tacks? I'm just a girl. That's man-work.

He: Puddin', that man's-work stuff isn't cute. I suggest you not try it again until you have my dinner ready on time every night.

Oh no you didn't go there! Now it's on!

Me: Pumpkin, I'll be happy to quit my job so it stops interfering with your dinner time. I understand how frustrating it must be to have to wait those four hours after you finish your shift for me to come home from work and start cooking for you.

He: Sugar, I understand it's a lot to expect a little help with the house after I've just come off a ten hour shift and then chauffeur the kids from school to athletics, orthodontists and wherever else they have to go before you come home from your part-time job and flop around demanding martinis and a full report.

Flop? Flop? I never Flop! I gracefully float from chair to chair.

Me: Honey, I had no idea I'd been neglecting you so. Monday morning I'll call in a cleaning crew to take care of the ironing and vacuuming and mopping and wiping and of course the toilet paper roll changing that I'm obviously not doing to your satisfaction. Obviously these are things that you can not pitch in with due to the time constraints of your four day work week. Your comfort is always my top priority.

He: Hey Boogerhead, I'll trade you a week of housework for a kiss. Truce?

Me: OK Dork, make it two weeks and I'll ravish you. Deal?

He: well he didn't exactly SAY anything, but we had a very pleasant rest of the afternoon.