Friday, August 31, 2007


I'm a Texan. As a Texan you will hear me say things like, "You saw a roach? Is it a big black or a little brown one? Well, that's OK then. Grab a can of hairspray and let him have it!"

You see, round these parts we know that in the summer those big black ones will try to come inside for water and a little heat relief. They are too big to kill with Raid, but a few squirts of Aquanet aerosol will make short work of 'em. On the other hand, if you see the little brown ones that sneak in via cardboard boxes or paper bags you need to get out the bug bomb or call the pros.

Last night my daughter announced a flying cockroach was in her dainty pink and white bedroom. Spouse and Bear grabbed their heavy church shoes and ran to rescue. After an intensive search, they came up empty. Needless to say, Bunnie spent the night in our bed. By the way, who came up with the idea of calling flying cockroaches the lovely and picturesque "Palmetto Bugs"? Such silliness can only have come from Yankees wintering in Florida. Or real estate agents selling to Yankees wintering in Florida. I don't know, but I doubt any locals who've grown up with them would romanticise the vermin.

Anyway, this morning when I opened the car door to start the second school run, what should scurry under the driver's seat? You guessed it! I had visions of that big ol' thing scrambling across my feet as I drove causing me to careen off the I-30 overpass and plunge into rush hour traffic below in a spectacular burst of flames recorded in its' entirety by the local traffic chopper and repeated on the local news tonight at 6:00 and 10:00.

"Honey, you're gonna be late to school. Mama's gotta grab the Aquanet!"