Monday, July 30, 2007

Pride or Nothing Comes Between Texas Women and Big Hair

The third in a series on the Seven Deadly Sins:
I'll admit it. I am a backbrush addict. Life without big teased hair just isn't worth living. Imagine my horror this week when my hot rollers died. On Tuesday last they perished with only a whimper. I have been in mourning ever since. So far I have been to six stores looking for a replacement set and I can not find The One. Shockingly, most places carry one brand or none at all. Clerks look at me pityingly when I ask for hot rollers as if I am some sort of demented dinosaur. I am awash in grief.
The only person who sees my pain is Spouse. Being a man, he can not understand why I am so particular about something as mundane as hair rollers, but he tries to console me with helpful remarks nonetheless. Unfortunately "You look a lot younger with flat hair" might be a poor choice of words.
As penance, I am forcing him to break out the checkbook and immediately escort me to the optometrist to renew my contact lens prescription (don't ask me how long it's been since my prescription ran out), the nail salon for a full mani/pedi, and a final stop at the Walgreens beauty counter for a new bottle of Olay regenerist daily serum- the best wrinkle cream in the world!
My mother always said "It hurts to be beautiful." Soon Spouse will feel the pain right in his wallet and I will be avenged! Don't hate me because I'm beautiful. Hate me because my maintenace fees mean you'll be eating leftovers for lunch every day for the next two weeks. Bon apetit!