Sunday, January 07, 2007

Shop 'Til You Drop

I detest shopping. Who decided that women love to shop, that it is a natural instinct in us? Puhleese! That goes right along with the idea that men can't do laundry. Unless he's retarded or rich, I don't buy that one either. But I digress.
I hate shopping. I hate shopping for food. I hate shopping for clothes. I hate shopping for gifts. I hate shopping. I think I'm like those reformed alcoholics who have to talk about how long they've been sober at every social function and give malevolent looks to everyone with a cocktail in his hand. Perhaps I'm like the born again former atheists who speak in tongues and proselytize in a manner so obnoxious they turn away more souls than they ever save.
In my youth I was a recreational shopper. I spent enormous amounts of money on myself and my family and friends. I spent like my wallet was some sort of magical money machine without any thought to the future. My closet was overflowing with designer labels and professionally wrapped gifts. I actually purchased a solid gold comb for a casual acquaintance. Neiman Marcus was my Mecca and I was a fanatical pilgrim serving the high mullah of Moolah!
I grew up. I got married. I tried to scale down. I had children. I scaled down some more. My children needed me to work strange hours so either my husband or I could be at home with them at all times. I took a lower paying job. I scaled back some more. Medical expenses began to rack up. We went into debt. I scaled back some more. We cleared the debt and began saving for a home and college. I stopped shopping altogether.
Today I dress like a bag lady. I buy something nice, I wear it out or ruin it in the laundry. I haven't been to the dry cleaners in years. I'm a mess and I was totally useless when it came to Christmas gift giving this year. So, what's to be done? It's time to get back in the habit of shopping. If you are young and cute you look great in Wal-Mart clothes. If you look like me, the cheap stuff looks cheap. So, It's time to bite the bullet and spend (shudder) some money on decent clothes and gifts for birthdays and Christmas. Despite the crowds and the snotty clerks and the (gulp) expense, I am resolved in 2007 to shop till I drop.